Dear Australia, all is forgiven

Sure, we've had our differences. There was the whole thing about not exporting your Tim Tams, which, right, some strong words were exchanged and we ultimately compromised that they would be called something boring like Arnott's Originals (nobody wants to do an Arnott's Original Slam), and we've moved past that not that I'm bitter about the delay and all those years of having to tell visiting Australian friends to leave their clothes at home the better to fill their luggage with crinkling boxes of joy. Then there's the part about your fauna being bizarrely aggressive, what with the hissing spiders and adorable blue-ringed octopodidae and unnecessarily large crocodiles and even venomous platypuses (what, were you out of shrieking eels?), and I think that with counseling we'll be able to agree to disagree on whether that makes for a habitable continent or not. Then there's the whole aspect where your people are aggressively cheerful even before alcohol gets applied ("Let's hike 30 kilometers before brekkie! It'll be bonza!"), doubtless because you're so happy to survive all the lurking animal menaces. I won't even get into the part about your being so far away that we almost never see you.

But I still love you.

Then these guys from the ABC comedy show, The Chasers War on Everything, are able to put together a fake Canadian diplomatic motorcade of a limo with 2 escort SUVs with little Canadian flags flapping, and that was good enough to get past $A165 million dollars worth of security planning and three security checkpoints and pull up to the front of the Intercontinental Hotel where President Bush was staying on the 29th floor.

The comedian actor Chas Licciardello, who was dressed and disguised as Osama Bin Laden, popped out of the limo at the hotel and reportedly shouted "Where is my friend Bush? It has all been a misunderstanding!!!"