Tuesday, June 23, 2009

A warning letter to my Exilim, and then wedding stuff

Dear camera,

We're learning to make peace with one another, you and I. I no longer leave you in a jacket pocket before taking a nap on the beach; you no longer attempt to take pictures of my purse's interior when a stray housekey gets frisky with your on button. I figured out how to white-balance some of my pictures; you've given me some good low-light shots despite my fumbling. I thought we were cool, little camera. But we have to talk: flashing a picture of a full battery two seconds before you give up the powerly ghost does not constitute advance warning. And doing it right before I have the chance to get some unglaubich shots at a pan-Slavic wedding reception? Well, you can see why I felt hurt. But I'm trying to move past it, little buddy. We've had such good times, and if you can just communicate your needs more clearly, I'm sure we'll have some more and that I won't have to take a crab mallet and do anything regrettable to your autofocus.

With conditional affection,
3pennyjane


Per Orthodox tradition, the choir lurks on high and discusses everyone's outfits while the guests assemble; once the groom shows up, the director usually insists that they work for a living. I had a cute dress and my most fabulous pink shoes, which I can wear only about once a year, because they hurt like fire and sin.
We suffer for the occasional "daaaaamn, girrrl," even if it's only in our own heads and mirrors.



You want pomp and circumstance at your wedding, I'm telling you, go Orthodox or go home. Rings, crowns, handfasting, candles, you name it. The crowns are for glory and martyrdom and making the couple turn their heads verrry verrry slooowly.


Drinking from a common cup. They say there are no atheists in foxholes, and there are probably few prayers like those of a woman in a white dress drinking red wine from a cup she's not holding herself.


The groom's side at this wedding instituted a whole pageant-sash thing that I haven't seen before, but it helped those of us who didn't know who was doing what, because it meant each member of the party was labeled by role and national affiliation. "Ah, you're the best man! And Serbian! So you're supposed to know where we get our shots of slivovitz after the ceremony!"


"Oh, the slivo's being poured by the inhospitable dingus who won't share it with anyone he doesn't know? You'll be hearing about this again."



And then there was accordion music and flinging of coins and great being-radiant on the parts of the bride and groom.


"May you see your children's children, like olive shoots around your table."

5 comments:

Flying Lily said...

Incredibly kickass wedding, and I've seen many including two of my own. If you would like to be my friend in the odd way that FB allows I am Eve Browning there and i don't think there are many others of that moniker with a horse photo.

Spotted Sparrow said...

I want a crown!

3pennyjane said...

This is one of the few weddings I've seen where the couple actually WORE their crowns. In many Russian churches, the groomsmen are responsible for holding them in the air over the couple's heads--and that part of the ceremony goes on for about 30 minutes. Tall groomsmen with significant upper-body strength are therefore in demand.

This is the more sensible solution.

walkinhomefromthethriftstore said...

It's such a revelation to me that you CAN wear the crown. In fact, the having it held over your head is completely optional! This significantly alters my world-view.

3pennyjane said...

Our church has wearable crowns, but they're you-ain't-got-no-alibi ugly. The Greeks usually go for either flower wreaths or pearl circlets, both of which tend to look ridiculous on grooms.

Oh HEY, check it: A historical example of the guy wearing the crown and the woman having hers held overhead so that it doesn't mess with her hair. Faskinating!