That's about the size of it. I bailed out of the all-night service just after midnight; the press of yammering FOB Russians and the amount of effort that it would take just to get back into the church was too much to face. I went home and was asleep by 1 AM. People who stayed until the end probably didn't get to their cars much before 4:30. Bah.
It's worth pointing out that Orthodox liturgics, much like Elizabethan English, will never use one word when fifteen will do. The readers don't always nail it, either, which gets funnier as Holy Week wears on and people get more tired and punchy. This year was fairly mild: "hethens" and "areo-pagites" were about as far as it went, although there were also reports of "evnocks" (men who've had their bits knocked off, I guess) and the tribulations of Jobb (for reals). Last year heard the memorable exhortation, "Oh Mother, do not beat your beast in grief."
None of those, however, match up to the Christmas blunder committed a few years back: "You will find a babe, warped in swangling clods, and lying in a mangar." When you realize that that particular combination occurs no fewer than three times in that reading, the sudden epidemic of coughing that swept the congregation is perhaps not such a shock.
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I don't know how long this will be up, and it's not even a direct link, but you must see Philip Jones Griffiths' Magnum Photos essay about Easter in the Philippines. The essay is called "Blood, Nails, and Prayers" and it is graphic. As of now, it's just under the featured story.
Apparently people choose to get crucified with six inch nails on Easter.
http://todayspictures.slate.com/20070413/
As a wise woman once said, "Note to self: Religion freaky." Orthodox Easter involves mainly a lot of shoving, quite a bit of standing, and, to break up the monotony, the risk of getting your hair singed by someone not skilled in candle maintenance. (Probably not many people at their first branding think, "Hm, smells like church," and probably not many people in church think, "Huh, smells like calf work.") The thing to remember is that if someone starts frantically smacking you from behind, find out why before you get pissed off.
And, as a shout-out to the Ortho peeps, what do we call the women who bust out their best coats no matter what the weather? Why, the fur-bearing women, of course.
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